After having been away from these portraits for a few weeks now, I’m still trying to settle into a consistent work rhythm. Today still felt awkward, but I forced myself to continue even though working didn’t feel as fluid as I usually like it to. I constantly have to remind myself that it’s better to be making bad work than no work at all. Stopping work entirely for too long can be a dangerous thing; the longer you’re away the more difficult it is to get yourself back into the game. This is why when I have to take a break from the work I always leave things unfinished so that I have something to come back to.
The other thought that has been floating in my head is redoing several portraits once I hit fifty. Already as I look back on the thirty-two that I’ve completed so far there are at least four or five portraits that I’m itching to do over again. The pieces in the beginning are especially important to redo since I hadn’t quite settled into a routine yet for the project at that point that felt firmly established. Every time I finish a project there’s always a part of me that wishes I could do it again, but better. Unlike in the past when I’ve simply accepted that I wasn’t going to and moved on, this time around I’m going to force myself to fulfill that need to literally do it again. In the end it’s likely I’ll complete around fifty-five to sixty portraits, and then choose the best fifty portraits out of those.