Since the beginning of the year, I’ve drastically changed my work schedule. Most of the reason is because I put myself on a very focused exercise and diet regime.  While this new schedule has been effective so far, I am well aware that the diet and exercise has taken up a lot of my mental energy. I feel more alert, energetic, and physically strong, but a major consequence of this is that my productivity has noticeably diminished.

I’ve been a workaholic all my life, and I’m the type of person who thrives on working. I’m most comfortable when I’m working and I look forward to getting so immersed in what I’m doing that eating feels like a disruption. (it says a lot that I love to eat) I’ll admit that most of the time, I prefer to work than to socialize or relax. My husband, who compared to the average worker has a really strong , industrious work ethic told me the other day that he feels like a lazy slug compared to me.

Which is why it’s surprising to me that for the first time that I can remember, I’m actually not bothered by my reduced productivity. I’ve been doing a hard stop on work and looking at my phone after my kids are in bed. Oddly enough, I’m not beating myself up for doing that. I’m watching TV & movies guilt free in the evenings for a change. (it does help that I’ve got a queue of Michael Fassbender movies I’m working through)

Another part of this shift is that in early January, we switched from doing live streams on our Instagram to doing live critiques on our YouTube channel. Any time we start a new initiative at, getting things jump started is a lot of time consuming trouble shooting on my part to figure out how to organize everything. That has eaten up a lot of time, and it’s only just now, almost 2 months later that I finally feel like I’ve figured out an efficient system for organizing the live critiques.

Since the beginning of the new year, I haven’t touched Premiere to edit any of the tutorials that are in my editing queue. (character design, creature design, and intro to gouache) There’s a gigantic backlog of portfolio critiques and Project Ideas that have been sitting around for a few months now.

Normally, I would be angry and frustrated with myself for letting content sit around like that for so long. Which is why I’m somewhat shocked that it’s actually not bothering me. I’ve been asking myself lately, why does it feel like I have to choose between self care and being productive? While self care feels really good, I feel very lopsided right now. Surely there has to be a way to strike a more even balance? is a free website for learning visual arts which features video tutorials, art critiques, and more.


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